An unedited transcript of a recent attempt to extract customer service from Levis.com. (Unedited as attested by all the shameful typos on the part of "Me"...) So ultimately, why do all these companies insist on trying to harvest all this data on us? Because in the end, when I'm actually trying to put my money down, they offer me a robot reading from a script and a broken website...

Levi's Live Chat
Natasha N. (Levi's): Hello, I’m Natasha. Thanks for contacting us today! I would be happy to assist you.
Me: hi
Natasha N. (Levi's): How may I assist you?
Me: I have a promo code from an email that just disapears when I enter it -- no feedback, no discount applied
Natasha N. (Levi's): I am so sorry to hear that you are not able to apply your promotion.
Natasha N. (Levi's): I will be more than happy to further assist you.
Me: yes?
Natasha N. (Levi's): What are you trying to order?
Me: 501® Shrink-to-Fit™ Jeans Color: Shark Fin Size: 35W X 36L
Natasha N. (Levi's): What is the price?
Me: 19.97
Natasha N. (Levi's): The promotion does not apply to the sale items.
Me: The promotion does not exclude sales items (I read the fine print)
Me: Also, there should be feedback as to what is going on, it shoudl not just disapear
Natasha N. (Levi's): It is excluded.
Me: Not very hjelpful, not very friendly
Natasha N. (Levi's): I am so sorry for that inconvenience.
Me: uh-huh
Natasha N. (Levi's): Is there anything else I can help with today, Fernanda?
Me: you haven't helped me yet. Your site offered me a promotion, I fulfilled my part of the deal, but you have not kept your part of it.
Natasha N. (Levi's): Unfortunately, the items do not apply for this promotion.
Me: Nothing I have indicates that what I am purchaseing is excluded from the promotion offered. You just glibly tell me it is excluded.
Me: So your offer is bait and switch?
Natasha N. (Levi's): Excludes Levi's® 501 Skinny, Levi's® MLB Collection, Levi's® Pride Collection, Pins & Patches, Levi's® Vintage Collection, Levi's® Made & Crafted™, Levi's® Skateboarding Collection, Levi's® Commuter, Levi's® x Rolling Stone Collection, Levi's® Non–Promoted Wellthread Styles, Levi's® Made in the USA, Women's: 505, 524, Mid–Rise Skinny, 515, 525, 535, and Gift Cards. See cart for details. Offer does not apply to gift certificates, packaging, taxes, or shipping and handling charges. This offer is valid on purchases at us.levi.com, Levi’s® Stores and Levi’s® Outlet Stores in the United States only. Limited to one time use per customer, and may not be combined with another offer and gift card purchases. LS&CO. reserves the right to modify or terminate this offer at any time without notice. LS&CO. employees not eligible for discount.

Free standard ground shipping on your order. Offer will automatically be applied at checkout when STANDARD GROUND SHIPPING is selected. Excludes shipments to Alaska, Hawaii, PO and APO/FPO addresses. Entire order must be shipped to a single address and customer is responsible for shipping costs of returned merchandise. This offer is valid on purchases at levi.com/US only. LS&CO reserves the right to modify or terminate this offer at any time without notice.

To participate in stores, print your email or show on your mobile phone. Valid at Levi’s® Stores and Levi’s® Outlet Stores in the United States only. Markdowns, collaboration, Made and Crafted, LVC and vintage product excluded. Non-transferable. May not be used in conjunction with any other coupon or for gift card purchases. LS&CO. employees not eligible for discount. This offer may be modified by LS&CO. in its sole discretion without notice at any time.
Store associates enter PROMO CODE: HELLO20
Me: Yes, I read that. Please indicate where it says what I am buying is not eligible
Me: Also, note it says "see cart for details" -- the cart gave me NO details!
Natasha N. (Levi's): That may have been a website error.
Natasha N. (Levi's): It is stated in the middle.
Me: Please quote specifically
Natasha N. (Levi's): I'm just going to do a little bit of research for you. It will be just 1-2 minutes!
Me: ok
Natasha N. (Levi's): I am not able to locate it. But it does not apply to those items. They are on a specific sale.
Natasha N. (Levi's): may not be combined with another offer.
Me: So you can't agree that it isn't excluded, but you now tell me that it is excluded, i have to trust you?
Natasha N. (Levi's): It is.
Me: There is no "other offer" -- the jeans cost 19.97
Natasha N. (Levi's): That is considered a warehouse sale item.
Me: This is a very poor way to treat a customer
Me: Defining your terms aftger teh fact to suit your needs
Natasha N. (Levi's): I am so sorry for that inconvenience.
Me: You ask me to give up my eamil address, agree to recieve promotional material from you, in exchange I am supposed to get 20% off and free shipping -- instead you bait and switch me, don't give any feedback about doing so until I complain, and then you tell me that you have a secret source that confirms that it's not eligible
Natasha N. (Levi's): Okay.
Natasha N. (Levi's): I am so sorry for that inconvenience.
Me: And your constant repitition of that insincere phrase doesn't help matters
Natasha N. (Levi's): Okay.
Me: Levi's treats its customers very shabbily
Natasha N. (Levi's): Is there anything else I can help with today, Fernanda?
Me: you shoudl be ashamed to represent tham
Natasha N. (Levi's): Is there anything else I can help with today, Fernanda?
Me: You haven't helped me yet
Natasha N. (Levi's): Okay.
Natasha N. (Levi's): Please place the order. As a one time courtesy, I will honor that promotion as a credit.
Me: will I see confirmation before I place the order?
Natasha N. (Levi's): Unfortunately not.
Me: *sigh8
Me: From my experience thus far wiuth your site, I simply don't trust that it will be the case
Natasha N. (Levi's): Unfortunately, we do not have an option to send a confirmation.
Me: I will not be placing an order then, your site is very unprofessional
Natasha N. (Levi's): I am so sorry for that trouble.
Natasha N. (Levi's): Is there anything else I can help with today, Fernanda?